


A Charlatan's Tail

by On_Sonnshine



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Deceit isn't the bad guy, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, Shapeshifting, he's soft, so Ykno, thank you, there is a fuckin Sword Hewwo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 10:49:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14975585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/On_Sonnshine/pseuds/On_Sonnshine
Summary: Prompt: Deceit feels lonely since he’s never fully experienced what it’s like to feel love, and he desperately wants to know. He shapeshifts into a cat, and for once just feels the other’s showering him with love. Even tough he knows that he can’t stay this way, and he knows that he’ll have to go back to being ‘the slimy snake’. But he doesn’t want to.





	A Charlatan's Tail

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so exhausted it's 7 AM i've been up all night I don't know if this is good or what my name is Pwease Hewp

Deceit was lonely.  
  
Though he’d loathe to admit it- he’s the villain! Villain’s don’t get lonely! Villain’s only need themselves, and they certainly don’t dream of affection and kind words that they know they’ll never get, not to mention probably don’t deserve. Certainly not!  
  
But he was. Against all odds, the big bad evil Deceit was lonely- he’s human! Who’d ‘a _thunk it?_  
  
The thing is, Deceit wouldn’t mind getting the attention he oh-so-craved from the others- but he knew if he were to go to the Light Sides- or Virgil- when he was upset, or wanted any given type of physical affection, they’d assume he was up to something. Honestly, he can’t blame them. He’s given them no reason to want to be affectionate with him.  
  
And even if they somehow didn’t assume he was up to something, they’d snap at him, reject him, whatever you want to call it. Deceit had lied to them, tricked them, manipulated them, what say you- why would they ever want to be affectionate with him, much less interact with him in a good-natured way at all?  
  
And well, the other Dark Sides certainly weren’t up for cuddles.  
  
So, the next logical solution would be to suck it up, curl up in bed, and accept the fact that the only thing he’d have the chance to cuddle would be Scout.  
  
Not ideal.  
  
Next _deceitful_ solution?  
  
If he won’t get affection from them as Deceit...then, stop being Deceit.  
  
The next question would be, well, if you’re not yourself, what do you shift into? What would garner affection, what would they willingly give affection to? It couldn’t be another human that he shifted into, no, no, learning from past mistakes and all.  
  
It didn’t take very long for Deceit to decide that it would have to be something no one would question, that wouldn’t hint towards his actual identity- a household pet. He’d go for a dog- he knew for certain they all adored dogs, Logan more muted but everything about Logan was muted- but he didn’t know if he had the energy to emulate a dog, enough so that it was non-suspicious.  
  
A cat, then. Just...an affectionate cat. They all liked cats, didn’t they?  
  
Yes, a cat, a cat would do just fine.  
  
And thus, the plan was set.  
  
///  
  
The cat he’d chosen to shift into was as hypoallergenic as possible- Patton was allergic to cats, and Deceit wouldn’t want to cause him any distress.  
  
Though it was black and gold because Deceit couldn’t help himself- aesthetic is aesthetic, people-, he doubted that’d be enough to give him away.  
  
At least, that was what he hoped as he crept around the light side of Thomas’ mind, both adjusting to the perspective change- he was short but this was just ridiculous!- and still remembering any other time he’d showed up in the light side of Thomas’ mind before. He knew he wasn’t himself, so there was no reason he’d be shouted or jeered at but fear is irrationa-  
  
‘ _Kitty!_ ’  
  
Deceit jumped, whirling around, silently baring his fangs before remembering that was more of a dog mannerism than a cat. It was, as he’d expected, Patton at the stairs, and the older Side didn’t seem to notice the dual mannerism, too enamoured with...literally everything else.  
  
At Deceit’s tail raising, back arched, Patton seemed to realize his mistake, quickly putting his hand up, giggling, ‘Sorry kitty! I didn’t mean to scare you.’  
  
In turn, Deceit allowed himself to relax, tail lowering as he straightened himself out. He stretched, and waited for- he needed this to be perfect, they were all smart, if too much was off, or out of place, they’d realize how strange it was that an unusually friendly cat showed up with no explanation, not to mention with Deceit’s colours. Perfection, and accuracy, were key.  
  
Patton crouched, before sliding to his knees altogether, gently patting his thighs, ‘C’mere kitty,’ He clicked his tongue, and Deceit paused for a moment before slowly walking over to him, head held low.  
  
Patton held out a hand, and Deceit internally rejoiced- _it’s working it’s working it’s working it’s working_ \- before sniffing at it accordingly. It takes all of two seconds before he sighs- or whatever the cat equivalent is- and rubs his face against it, purring against his own will. He realizes with brief panic that the purring is his purring, not a cat’s purring, but then he remembers- this is Patton. Patton won’t know the difference.  
  
Patton squeals, beaming, gently turning his hand to scratch up under Deceit’s chin. Deceit all but flops into Patton’s lap, knowing it’s against the general nature of cats but also knowing that apparently, the sensitivity of that particular spot has carried right over into this form.  
  
‘Fan _tastic_ morning dearest f- Patton?’ In any other circumstance, Deceit would’ve stiffened at the boisterous voice, and he has the intense urge to flee- maybe he didn’t think this through- and he nearly does, but Patton is still scratching under his chin and all he can really do is lie there, purr, revel in the contact, and remind himself that he’s not himself, so there’s no reason that Roman would pull his sword on him, or anything of that sort. Right. Right.  
  
He leans further into Patton’s hand, opening his eyes so he can keep an eye on his surroundings.  
  
Patton giggles, glancing over his shoulder, ‘Mornin’ kiddo! Come look at the kitty!’  
  
‘Ki-? A cat? Who conjured a cat- Patton you’re allergic!’ That’s Logan, and Deceit would relax because Logan’s always been kinder towards him- well, as openly kind as Logan is-, but the question of ‘who conjured the cat’ made him stiffen, his heart briefly stopping.  
  
‘I didn’t conjure him- I prefer dogs.’ ‘I thought it was Roman.’  
  
Patton’s hand smooths down Deceit’s back and Deceit wants to relax at it, but then there’s the the thump of boots against linoleum as Roman walks over. He winces.  
  
‘Odd. Do you believe Virgil conjured him?’ ‘Possibly. He _does_ seem to have a certain fondness for felines.’ Logan pauses for a moment, before redirecting his attentions, ‘And, Patton. you should not be interacting with a cat for extended periods of time-’  
  
Patton huffs, and Deceit glances up at him at the sign of exasperation, tail twitching, ‘I _know_ Lo but look at him! Isn’t he cute? And nothing’s happened yet!’  
  
Logan sighs, muttering something under his breath, and Deceit watches as he walks by, going straight to the fridge. Meanwhile Roman has stopped at Patton’s side, giving a fond smile and a chuckle as he briefly leans down to scratch behind Deceit’s ear.  
  
Deceit feels a brief pang of sadness at the thought that he’s never had an expression as soft as that directed at him- actual him-, and most likely never will, but it’s easily ignorable when the warmth of Roman’s hand is still at that sensitive spot behind his ear.  
  
Roman retreats then, standing straight and drifting over to the fridge as well.  
  
Patton scratches behind Deceit’s ears for a bit longer before standing up, scooping the feline up into his arms. Deceit doesn’t mind it, merely nuzzling into his neck, butting at his jaw with his head. Patton giggles, returning the nuzzle, and Roman throws a raised eyebrow look to them, ‘I’ve never seen a cat so calm. You must have a special touch.’ That last part is thrown in with a head-tilt and a little chuckle, though Logan scoffs quietly.  
  
By all means, the plan is going well. This is more contact than Deceit has ever had...no. No, this is more physical contact- not even mentioning affection- than Deceit has had in a...well, a while. It’s warm and a little overwhelming, but Deceit doesn’t mind, not at all. This is what he wanted. The guilt churning in his stomach is easily ignorable.  
  
‘Okay kitty, sit here, I have to cook.’ Patton sets Deceit down on the counter, and Logan looks like he wants to comment on the nonsense of talking to animals, but doesn’t. (The last time he did Roman dragged him into an hour long argument over it.)  
  
Deceit doesn’t- hey, the entire point of this was to finally experience physical affection after years without it-, instead trotting over to where Logan is waiting on his bread to toast. He settles down, sitting, looking up at Logan expectantly.  
  
Logan gives him a brief amused glance, and Deceit wriggles, flopping over onto his side and meowing plaintively up at him. It has the effect Deceit expects, which is an eye-roll and then Logan reaching out to gently scratch under his chin.  
  
Deceit purrs, and Roman chuckles from his spot at the table, ‘Aww, I think he likes you specs.’ Logan doesn’t rise to the bait spelled out by Roman’s teasing tone, retreating his hand and turning his attention away as the toaster dings.  
  
Soon enough, the scent of food filled the kitchen, and Deceit had meandered over to the kitchen table, jumping up and ending up stretched out on his side while Roman absently rubbed his ears and neck.  
  
And that was about when Virgil came slinking down the stairs, scrubbing at his eyes with the insides of his wrists.  
  
Deceit quickly gets to his feet, practically vaulting forward into Roman’s lap. Roman lets out a noise of surprise before gently petting down Deceit’s back, scratching at the spot between his spine and his tail. ‘What’s got you so scared?’ Roman chuckles, lifting his drink to his lips.  
  
Deceit merely curls his tail around himself, hoping beyond hope that Virgil isn’t suspicious of him. Virgil’s the main stop- Roman and Patton wouldn’t be suspicious of him because of his cute appearance, and Logan wouldn’t second guess that one of said Sides had conjured him and just forgotten about it.  
  
But Virgil. Virgil was smarter than either of those options. If Virgil started poking and prodding, there’s no doubt in Deceit’s mind that he’d quickly uncover the truth. It was as respect-inducing as it was terrifying.  
  
(How ironic that the one person Deceit would appreciate physical affection from the most was the one who most likely wouldn’t trust in the fact that a random cat had just appeared with seemingly no origin. Hey, Deceit couldn’t blame him.)  
  
Virgil sluggishly sat down in his spot, picking up the cup of coffee already placed there, sipping it without caution, an absolute madlad.  
  
As Deceit had expected, it took a moment for Virgil to notice the purring creature in Roman’s lap. When the other finally did, it was with a double-take and narrowed eyes.  
  
‘It is too early in the morning for you to be conjuring animals.’ Virgil grumbled, sipping from his coffee again.  
  
‘You didn’t conjure him?’ Logan sits down, mug hitting the table with a clack.  
  
‘No? Why would I?’ Deceit briefly considers bolting directly out of Roman’s lap, but he’s warm and currently, Roman is a good safety net. Plus, looking innocent will hopefully serve him well in this situation.  
  
So instead, he curls up in Roman’s lap, pawing at his shirt, purring as loud as he possibly can.  
  
That’s a mistake, as instead of the smooth purring of a cat, what comes out is a hissing, nearly gargling, imitation of a cat’s purr. _Hss-rr-ss-rr-ss-rr-ss-rr._  
  
Virgil’s eyes narrow and a deep frown curls his lips, and Deceit thinks it’s game over.  
  
‘I- well- none of us conjured him, we just assumed that because you like cats you must’ve done it.’ Virgil nods slowly, eyes not once leaving Deceit. Deceit tries not to make it obvious how he’s avoiding Virgil’s gaze.  
  
But then, just as Deceit is beginning to shift onto his feet, Virgil’s eyes go to his coffee and he shrugs, muttering that it wasn’t him, weird.  
  
Logically, Deceit knows something is up. He knows something is up. There’s no way Virgil didn’t recognize his purring.  
  
However, he doesn’t have long to dwell on it, because then Patton is serving up breakfast and Roman’s shooing him onto the floor.  
  
///  
  
It becomes a bit too much of a habit. Turning into a cat and trotting into the light side of Thomas’ mind, winding himself around the legs of whoever he first comes across.  
  
He-...he...it was supposed to be a one-time thing. It shouldn’t have...he shouldn’t have done it again.  
  
But god, but- but _god_...he just...the affection was- _good_ , and he’d missed it, oh how he’d missed it. He couldn’t help but crave it once he’d gotten another taste of it, crave the warmth, the softness. As himself, he wouldn’t get it. Never. Of course not.  
  
But as the cat...oh, as the _cat_...  
  
He knows that it’s wrong, and he knows for sure that he feels _so_ guilty for it, but he doesn’t want to stop.  
  
Even though he knows it could come unraveling at any second.  
  
For example; Deceit has the strong feeling that Virgil is aware of what’s going on, based off of both their first encounter, and the fact that Virgil doesn’t interact with the cat at all. No petting, no acknowledgement.  
  
But on that same hand Virgil just can’t know- why wouldn’t he say anything, expose Deceit? He’d be in the right. It didn’t make any semblance of sense.  
  
A miracle would have to occur for it to make sense.  
  
On the subject of miracles- the discussion of where ‘that cat’ comes from is barely ever brought up over that month. That wonderful, affection-filled month.  
  
It was going well.  
  
Well.  
  
Far, far too well.  
  
It made sense that it would’ve all come crashing down on him.  
  
///  
  
It was bad timing, ironically, that did him in.  
  
He’d just shifted into the cat, was walking around a bit, attempting to orient himself. That was a ritual- making sure he wouldn’t be dizzy or off-kilter when he finally went over to the others.  
  
And then...  
  
Then, he felt himself being pushed up by his paws, and he only had a momentary second to panic before he was standing in the commons surrounded by the other Sides.  
  
‘Deceit, we need another opini-...’  
  
Deceit cowers at the sudden silence, his attention switching between Roman, who’s hand is twitching slightly at his side, and Virgil, who looks...panicked?  
  
His heart beats loud in his chest, his back arching, fur rising, and he knows that he needs to sink out for his own safety but he can’t bring himself to move.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Deceit sees Roman’s hand lift, and Deceit doesn’t have to turn his head to know the other Side’s sword has been drawn. He feels something akin to ice being poured down his spine, and he’s seconds away from bolting when suddenly he’s off the ground and being held by the scruff of his neck. He doesn’t squirm, freezing out of pure fear.  
  
For a moment, a long moment, he thinks it’s Roman who’s taken hold of him, thinks he’s about to be ended right here in the commons, and he can’t breathe. And then...  
  
‘I’ll take care of it.’  
  
_Virgil?_  
  
The Side holding him- _Virgil??_ \- sinks out, and then they’re back in the dark side of Thomas’ mind and Deceit is roughly dropped onto the couch. When the dizziness from suddenly being grabbed like a bookbag has worn off, he finds himself staring up at an annoyed Virgil.  
  
‘If you could shift back, that’d be great.’ Virgil’s arms are crossed across his chest and Deceit suddenly wishes it had been Roman who’d picked him up as he nods, doing as asked of him.  
  
He doesn’t wait to get reoriented, doesn’t bother to adjust his hat or smooth out his clothes; just lets his hands fall to his lap, eyes going to the floor. He knew this would happen. He only has himself to blame and he knows that- he’s known that since the beginning.  
  
‘I’m sorry.’ An ashamed flush creeps up his neck. He doesn’t care enough to lie- it’s only Virgil here. Lying would just worsen the situation.  
  
‘Of all the _half-witted, idiotic_ things you’ve- _what?_ ’ Deceit flinches, lowering his head at the sharp sentence.  
  
‘I’m sorry.’ He repeats himself, continuing when his response is dead silence, ‘I-...I shouldn’t have done it, it- it was wrong, and I shouldn’t have- shouldn’t have done it. I know. I’m not going to make excuses.’ Virgil doesn’t respond for a long, agonizing moment.  
  
‘You’re right, you _shouldn’t_ have done it.’ Virgil’s tone is sharp, quick, and then he pauses, ‘So why did you? You had to have known it was dangerous.’  
  
Deceit takes a pause himself- he hadn’t expected that one.  
  
‘You want the truth?’  
  
Virgil gives a wry little chuckle, ‘It’d be appreciated, yes.’  
  
Deceit sighs, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck, eyes not leaving the floor. ‘I just...wanted to feel affection again. It’s so... _cold_. Like this. I-I...I was only going to do it once, and then...then I got carried away. I’m sorry. I’ll- i’ll apologize to the others, if they’ll let me. If they’ll believe me.’ Deceit pauses, ‘I haven’t given them a...a reason, to believe me, but...’  
  
Another long silence, and then, to Deceit’s surprise, the couch dips beside him.  
  
‘Deceit... _christ_ that was...the dumbest thing you’ve ever done, and it wasn’t right, and I don’t know if they’ll listen to any apology you give...’ Deceit flinches, shrinking down into himself at every word. Virgil’s right. Deceit knows he’s right.  
  
‘But...I can’t say I might not have done the same. That doesn’t make it right, but...I understand.’ The words are slow, as though Virgil’s picking and choosing what he’s saying. None of it’s a lie, though. And that’s something, isn’t it?  
  
Deceit doesn’t respond- he doesn’t know _how_ to, but that’s fine, because Virgil continues, setting a hesitant hand on his knee.  
  
‘And...you know, if it’s a... _condolence_...I don’t think Patton- or Logan- are going to be all that mad at you. And ah, pro-tip- Patton’s the cuddliest out of all of us.’ Deceit looks up to Virgil, lips twitching slightly, eyes narrowing. _Eh?_  
  
Virgil shrugs, and there’s a certain attempted nonchalance in his features that makes Deceit smile the tiniest bit. It’s sincere.  
  
‘O-...okay.’


End file.
